Review: Don't Shoot The Chest!

Tobby Ong, also known as Carthage, chalked up a couple of standalone single levels for Unreal and Unreal Tournament a number of years back (when he wasn’t contributing to compilation/team projects in the interim). One such level made for Unreal 227 (Though better suited for Unreal Gold users who have no need for many of the extra RTNP packages) is a map entitled Don’t Shoot The Chest!

Although the title might suggest a silly diversionary map, it is actually a pretty on the nose Na Pali romp as far as Unreal fandom is concerned. That is not to say the level is at all very serious in tone. By the readme’s own admission, Don’t Shoot The Chest! is meant to be lighthearted in nature. My best comparison would be to One Day, right down to some self-commentary from our protagonist and also for the Nali interaction that occurs. Imagine our unnamed protagonist, much like any other blank slates you might have embodied in various Unreal packs over the years. Long traveled, wearied by years of wandering, our person comes to a well-managed Nali inn to hole up for the night. The Innkeeper is tolerant of humans (Two-Arms, as we are known) though apparently quite intolerant of any roughhousing by his patrons. The House Rules are quite simple, and each guest has merely to read and follow them to enjoy the hospitality the place has to offer. Naturally, you will somehow manage to embarrass yourself shortly after starting the level and will have to pony up some labor hours to pay off your debt to the Keeper. What kind of labor, you might ask? Well the sort of work fearful Nali might expect from able bodied (and armed) human saviors...

The inn, you discover, is merely a front for a sprawling underground site serving as a timeworn and quite unmaintained aqueduct. As you progress deeper into this derelict waterway you will quickly find that your debt might be a steep one to pay. Of the aqueduct itself, Tobby employs strict use of the Ancient texture set from Unreal, matching the visual look to go with the music chosen for "Chizra, Water God" from the original game. Though, here the player navigates a mostly linear (but not basic) path to the end of the ruined structure. The design of the aqueduct and the tunnels networked beneath them remind me very much of Graeme Hutton’s work on the "Lost Passage of Vandora" levels from Seven Bullets, which also utilized high ceilings and grand dimensions for what could have otherwise been a very basic locale. There is this fractured look to the place that suggests something larger than what meets the eye. While Ancient as a set is very familiar, smart cutaways and use of debris makes for interesting to look at dilapidation. The big payoff moment is the exterior of the aqueduct itself.

Tobby has demonstrated a knack for impressive BSP carving and level design even with the short list of examples credited to him in public releases. Whether it’s the sprawling contemporary look of his anime expo seen in The Man from A.H.R.G or his work in The Chronicles of Weedrow 2, no space is wasted. Even still, I did happen upon an easy to come across HOM and at least one vanishing additive face on a brick pile. These are minor issues indeed, but when maps like this hit an otherwise high level of quality these things tend to stand out more than they should. Still, technically the map is above average as far as my judgment goes. Otherwise? The soundscape is generally well done, if suitably ordinary. A custom music track is used for the Inn, as the aforementioned Chizra plays for much of the remainder.

Our protagonist learns quickly that the aqueduct is infested with bottom feeding Unreal enemies. Armed initially with a Dispersion Pistol, the Nali sending you on your task will also provide you with an Automag and a Stinger. Ammo will be given modestly, either by taking the time to prospect off the beaten path or dropped by certain enemies. Of your antagonists, you will be dealing with precisely the type of enemies you might expect. Flies and Spinners make for a force of creepy crawlies you’ll have to contend with, as well as a whole lot of Tentacles. You will even come across some Slith at some point. The first three weapons of the Unreal arsenal are sufficient to deal with these guys, but I was surprised to find myself checking my ammo use and fell back on the Dispersion Pistol when it suited me (a weapon upgrade can be found to make it more than formidable to burn out those Tentacle nests). A light Kevlar suit is provided also, which will be all the armor you will find in the whole level. So treat it right! You’ll also be able to obtain an ASMD before the map reaches its end, albeit very briefly.

The actual gunplay dominates the realm of generally manageable fare with maybe one real instance of required luck. As stated, the build is quite good. Though, it is not always so clean when it comes to where you step. There are a couple of water pools, for instance, that do not meet the minimum step requirement in a room where some enemies will harass the player. This is a slight mention that would have been ignored for the sake of reviewing if not for a similar reappearance at the climax of the level, which poses the player with a truly dangerous situation in an environment that is littered with untrustworthy obstructions when it is the one place in the map you really need to be able to not to get snagged while avoiding certain death. Otherwise, this setup is exciting in concept…if a little shaky in execution.

In terms of narrative, early in the level the protagonist’s self-musings will appear in Blue Text along with spoken screen prompts from your disgruntled host to comedic effect (without going too far into slapstick territory). However, these prologue Nali speech sections are quickly exchanged with a direct Universal Translator system of communication with the Barkeep, who takes a page out of Xidia to keep you informed as progress is made into the ruins. There is likewise a fair amount of text to be found in the aqueduct itself. Various stone glyphs and logs from long dead Nali lay about to be gleaned, providing wordy (but interesting) insight into secondary lore. There is even a Skaarj message late in the level that hints at larger social decay outside the happenings of the player’s personal Na Pali story. Using conventions seen in Tobby’s other work, message logs often are made to catch the player’s eye by a green light and are usually headed by detailed authorship. What this means is that nearly all the level messages test and outbound the default Translator window size. As we are using 227 in any case, I would recommend using larger log screens.

Sadly…the story and gameplay have the same problem; They both end abruptly just when things are getting interesting. In his readme, Tobby Ong states that the level was released with an intentionally disconnected exit. As it can be read in that text, additional levels were to be made and released individually with the idea being that players would ultimately have a functional set of levels upon completion of the story. However, since the release of Don’t Shoot The Chest! in 2014, no follow up map has yet been released as of summer 2021.

This unfortunately sours an otherwise impressive little map. With no true ending, this lighthearted adventure will remain (for now) an incomplete piece of showmanship.